Good friends Many laughs

When you've known someone for more than seventeen years, it is just like slipping on a pair of comfy (albeit styley and gorgeous) slippers when you get together. For a girls weekend.
People we met in Invercargill kept exclaiming - But its such a pity about the weather! It was raining for the second half of the visit, but frankly, we didnt go for the tropical climate. Or even to see the local scenery. Or to explore the natural beauty. Or to hit the shops (although we did manage a 45 min powershop).
We came to have a rest from our hectic households full of little children.
We came mostly, though, to see where our lovely friend lives and what the inside of her house looks like so we can picture it on the phone from now on.
And we came to laugh until we cried.
When you've known, lived with, talked to, grown up around someone for more than seventeen years there is very little in terms of conversation that is sacred, or secret. It is a precious thing to be able to lay it all open with people you trust and know they will not think any less of you.
We laughed until we cried, we agreed our husbands were wonderful, and we left with dozens and dozens of fresh bluff oysters to keep 'em happy.
I wouldn't be eighteen years old again for all the oysters in southland, but I do congratulate my eighteen year old self for recognising such precious potential friends. (Those who were present and those who were not).

Kungfu monkey spiderman ostrich dragon

Big brothers starts school next term. I'm feeling perforated with one of those lines, like a voucher about to be ripped.

He can't wait, and has already asked if there are cool toys at his school, and told us that his school is actually a dragon school. He loves dragons. He lives in an amazing world of animals, dinosaurs and dragons. They all do kungfu fighting and often breathe AND fart fire.
Tonight one of the characters he has been pretending to be is a kungfu monkey spiderman ostrich dragon.
Or a pterodactyl dragon.
The kungfu monkey spiderman ostrich dragon has some crazy fighting/dancing moves, and wears a black cape and plastic hawaiian hoola skirt. I will miss his one-man-menagerie so much when he goes to school. I dread the thought of anyone saying - 'Stop that silliness, sit down and do your maths.'
I'm not sure 5 years of freedom to be whomever he feels and do whatever he wants is enough.
I hope the adults surronding him remember they once had an unblemished imagination too.

Body Blues

I feel gloriously curvey when I'm pregnant. I love the shape and eat like everyday is Christmas. I was perfectly convinced I had not gained much weight with this pregnancy - 'you're all baby' - lovely people said and I happily believed them...until nearly four months after having Little Miss and two days ago when I actually weighed myself. The lovely people were actually truly just being lovely, and not at all very truthful. Either that or they hadn't seen me from behind.

It has happened with each pregnancy, I am pregnant pregnant pregnant then suddenly just plain old fat. Its a really tough yo-yo to go through for my self image (compounded after three crawls up and down the weight charts in five years).

All luck and admiration to those (like at least two of my four sisters) who step off the birthing bed and back into their skinny jeans. Celebrity culture would have us believe that is the norm, but lets all agree right now that celebrities are actually total freaks to start with. For normally proportioned girls like me, the loss of those post pregnancy hormones is a double insult when combined with the realisation the picture we have of ourselves in our heads (and in our wedding photos, or beach holiday shots) no longer matches the reflection in the mirror.

So what am I going to do - I know I must exercise to burn fat (although what tends to burn first is my milk supply) I know I must cut down my eating (except I am still ravenously hungry 90% 0f the time) but most most most importantly I must try not to let it get me down.
I must find something nice to wear - in my super sized size - and wear it. I must get rid of the clothes that remind me of a body long gone, and embrace the flowing fluidity of collagen stretched beyond repair. My body has been a baby producing machine for five years and it rightly deserves a ripple of applause. I need to keep in mind I will loose the blubber, but it will take me (personally) at least 18 months. I need to keep reminding myself this as I feel myself sink into the body blues.

Mominoes

Where do I start?
Before I sit to feed baby I should make cup tea
before cup of tea must empty dishwasher
while emptying dishwasher son needs toilet
doesnt make it in time so change him clean him
leave him to wash his hands
take clothes to machine
scrub pants
fill soak bucket and add detergent
empty machine of clean washing
fill machine again with dirty washing and put on
go to hang washing but baby really hungry now
leave washing put on jug
grab glass water
feed baby while watching boys tip another box of toys over floor
try to remember last time vacumed
burp baby and clear space on floor for her to kick
put teabag in cup and reboil jug
unpack bit more dishwasher
go to hang washing but son wants drink water
realise boys hungry make morning tea
baby crying with wind so burp her again
empty dishwasher, hang washing, cook lunch.......