Tuesday, December 22, 2009
In one end....
For such a little person, Miss G surely takes up a lot of time ! Shes a pint sized processing plant - poke the feeding apparatus in one end, and you mind out the equal and opposite reaction out the other end. She has great comic timing - the boys are going to really appreciate a sister who provides ample bottom noises to keep life just so darned hilarious. On three occasion she has managed to deliver her 'punchline' just as she was sitting bare bottom on my knee. Its amazing how I've only known her for 12 days and am totally unfazed by her pooing on me. Cant say that about many people!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
I hope you didnt get the wrong idea....
You know, just thinking about my last post I feel a bit embarrassed. Perhaps I was a bit gushy and oversimplified/exaggerated just how good things are going. I mean, if I had read that piece when my first baby was 10 days old I would have thought - what a show off, she's not telling how it really is.
So, let me clarify. Yes I am exhausted. One of my nipples has cracked and bleeds every time she feeds. I spent yesterday in bed, fretting I had a breast infection. I am checking my babies rash every few minutes for signs of meningitis. My body is lumpy and achy. I feel like I've been in a dehydrator for 24 hours. This is really incredibly hard work.
But there are things I know now that I didn't know with number 1. These discomforts pass, the nipple will slowly heal, the exhaustion will slowly fade, I will sleep through the night again.
And what I really wanted to celebrate with my earlier blog was that I can just go with all those things, knowing it will be alright, and appreciate small wonders - some quiet time while my boys are happy and content stretching their little independence wings, a great support network of family and friends, a place to relax and just be.
I know we are incredible lucky to have baby that is chilled and sleepy. But I dont actually buy into that story we hear that babies are relaxed because parents are relaxed. I think every baby has a personality, is it's own wee individual in its own right from day 1, and like bigger versions, the smaller versions have quirks and qualities. Some cry, some don't. Some scream, some have terrible tummy pains, some sleep and some don't. Its the luck of the draw, and whatever you draw, its good to remember that it will pass, and change, all too quickly.
Quietly does it...
Its so quiet at my house this morning. The only sound I hear is the overloaded washing machine straining to spin out its belly full of pink clothes. I remembered this morning - when I undressed Miss G to find her chest and body bright red with heat/something rash - that my babies skin does not like environmentally friendly washing powder. Same with the boys - and my midwife confirmed that Eco Store and most green powders are too harsh for their wee skin. So lovely hubby has popped to get a box of Lux flakes and I will rewash all the pink and yellow and baby wrapping things I can find today. In the spirit of carbon trading schemes, I must remember to make amends to nature by planting a tree, or be extra vigilant recycling my milk bottles.
May as well rewash everything in the house, cause really I have not much (besides breast feeding and gazing adoringly at my daughter) else to do. Its quiet because my big boys are up at the family farm, bonding with their grandparents, climbing trees, and riding on motorbikes. They are far to happy and busy to even talk to us on the phone. I am being totally nurtured by the lovely mothers and fathers from Days Bay Play Centre, who have organised a meal roster for 2 weeks! Every afternoon someone rolls up to deliver a gorgeous dinner, and have a chat and a goo over the baby. Last night we had canneloni, fresh bread rolls and salad, followed by fruit sponge and whipped cream. I had more fruit sponge and whipped cream at 3am following a feed, and polished the rest off for breakfast! All justified under the 'Make high quality milk for baby' banner. Its all good training for Christmas feasting, too. What a great idea for any group of people to provide for its new mums, better than any team bonding exercise invented.
My niece has been here all week, running around fetching cups of tea, glasses of water, hanging washing, and practising for our christmas ukelele concert. Her Mum folded up Mt Washing Pile and vacuumed the house before she left yesterday. Anything else I am simply choosing not to do.
I know this peacefulness will pass. Life will get frenetic again, but for now time passes quietly. I sit on the couch breastfeeding, or lie in bed breastfeeding, and occasionally glance up from examining my child's perfect feet/hands/chin rolls/sternum to look out the window at the wind ruffled pale green sea.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
One day at a time
Day of Birth - I lie on the couch, and introduce our beautiful girl to her grandparents, and brothers. We all have a shot of the 90- something year old whisky that my husbands grandfather was given when my father-in-law was born. I should rest but I can't sleep anyway. She latches on and begins transforming my nipples into leather.
Day one - I am in total euphoria. Everytime I look at the result of my nine months work I am overwhelmed. I bounce around the house, shower, get dressed. I feel minimal pain. She is hungry and there is not enough to satisfy her.
Day Two - Still riding the adrenalin high. I manage 2 or 3 bursts of sleep during the night. I forget to take my pain relief and things get a bit sore. I can't stop telling the story over and over again, reliving the highs (I've already forgotten the long hard bits). We take our carload of kids (backseat buldging) out to our extended family christmas lunch and she is the star of the day. Tiring but lovely day, I happily accept the 3 servings of Pavlova and fruit salad that different lovely people keep bringing me! That night our wee girl sleeps a five and a half hour stretch.
Day Three - My parents arrive with my niece, our nanny for the week. They are all suitably impressed. I hit the nipple cream, infact am using so many different creams for different bits that I'm concerned I'll put the wrong one on the wrong place. Still forgetting panadol. Ouch. Can't sit for too long. I feel like I've completed the childbirth equivalent of a marathon.
Day Four - Last night I ate something too strong or rich, or drink too much bubbly, and she had a bad tummy ache. Finally she settled at 3am, awake again at 5.30am. The exhaustion is setting in, but I am going with it. We have lovely visitors. The adrenalin is slipping, but watching her Dad looking at her, with a look of tender adoration that is just for her, that I havent seen before, makes me feel very very content.
Day one - I am in total euphoria. Everytime I look at the result of my nine months work I am overwhelmed. I bounce around the house, shower, get dressed. I feel minimal pain. She is hungry and there is not enough to satisfy her.
Day Two - Still riding the adrenalin high. I manage 2 or 3 bursts of sleep during the night. I forget to take my pain relief and things get a bit sore. I can't stop telling the story over and over again, reliving the highs (I've already forgotten the long hard bits). We take our carload of kids (backseat buldging) out to our extended family christmas lunch and she is the star of the day. Tiring but lovely day, I happily accept the 3 servings of Pavlova and fruit salad that different lovely people keep bringing me! That night our wee girl sleeps a five and a half hour stretch.
Day Three - My parents arrive with my niece, our nanny for the week. They are all suitably impressed. I hit the nipple cream, infact am using so many different creams for different bits that I'm concerned I'll put the wrong one on the wrong place. Still forgetting panadol. Ouch. Can't sit for too long. I feel like I've completed the childbirth equivalent of a marathon.
Day Four - Last night I ate something too strong or rich, or drink too much bubbly, and she had a bad tummy ache. Finally she settled at 3am, awake again at 5.30am. The exhaustion is setting in, but I am going with it. We have lovely visitors. The adrenalin is slipping, but watching her Dad looking at her, with a look of tender adoration that is just for her, that I havent seen before, makes me feel very very content.
Saturday, December 12, 2009
Its a...Its a...Its a....!
GIRL!
Born Friday morning, at 9.37am, after a long night of sporadic stop-start contractions, no sleep, a night and dawn of walking walking walking around the house, looking out at the dim misty morning, waving my bootie around, breathing my way through each contraction, as excited Dad and the midwives drink tea and eat toast.
I will refrain from giving you every juicy detail, needless to say, it was wonderful experience, and surprisingly different to the births of the boys.
Well, ok, just a few juicy details and magical moments.....
In what has got to be the most uncomfortable moment imaginable - her head appears, reality hits that yes it is actually a baby coming (out of THERE !)- in that moment the world pauses, waiting for the last contraction to clear the shoulders and bring her gushing - in this, the of moment of birth, I feel the universe hold its breath. Even among the euphoria and the rush of all sorts of hormones, fluid, and the logistics of catching her before she went down the toilet I was crouched over !- even among the screams of pain and joy - who is making that noise? oh - actually, it is me! - in this moment I feel the universe pause, then I feel God breathe softly into the small body of this angel, and she lives. And lets out a ripping yell and there it is, we have a daughter.
Climbing onto the couch with her skin resting against mine, she is still. And I finally get my cup of sweet tea and toast, and deliver the placenta and bask in the bloody glory of it all.
The boys arrive home with grins from ear to ear, they rush in to inspect their baby sister.
Big Brother suggests we call her Baby Jesus. He's right in the Christmas spirit.
Little Brother kisses her gently. Later when she lets out a cry - the first noise he's heard from her - he looks at me with concern and suggests 'We should go to the hoff-dill (hospital)!'
20 mins after she is born, a pod of Orca whales are spotted in Wellington harbour. When Dan and the boys go into Eastbourne later that afternoon, to get a few feminine hygiene essentials from the supermarket, they follow the whales as they swim up and down the Bays. In places the 6 majestic creatures are only 5-10m from shore, even swimming under the wharf at Days Bay. In the way that nature knows, and responds, we know they have come to welcome our baby girl.
Born Friday morning, at 9.37am, after a long night of sporadic stop-start contractions, no sleep, a night and dawn of walking walking walking around the house, looking out at the dim misty morning, waving my bootie around, breathing my way through each contraction, as excited Dad and the midwives drink tea and eat toast.
I will refrain from giving you every juicy detail, needless to say, it was wonderful experience, and surprisingly different to the births of the boys.
Well, ok, just a few juicy details and magical moments.....
In what has got to be the most uncomfortable moment imaginable - her head appears, reality hits that yes it is actually a baby coming (out of THERE !)- in that moment the world pauses, waiting for the last contraction to clear the shoulders and bring her gushing - in this, the of moment of birth, I feel the universe hold its breath. Even among the euphoria and the rush of all sorts of hormones, fluid, and the logistics of catching her before she went down the toilet I was crouched over !- even among the screams of pain and joy - who is making that noise? oh - actually, it is me! - in this moment I feel the universe pause, then I feel God breathe softly into the small body of this angel, and she lives. And lets out a ripping yell and there it is, we have a daughter.
Climbing onto the couch with her skin resting against mine, she is still. And I finally get my cup of sweet tea and toast, and deliver the placenta and bask in the bloody glory of it all.
The boys arrive home with grins from ear to ear, they rush in to inspect their baby sister.
Big Brother suggests we call her Baby Jesus. He's right in the Christmas spirit.
Little Brother kisses her gently. Later when she lets out a cry - the first noise he's heard from her - he looks at me with concern and suggests 'We should go to the hoff-dill (hospital)!'
20 mins after she is born, a pod of Orca whales are spotted in Wellington harbour. When Dan and the boys go into Eastbourne later that afternoon, to get a few feminine hygiene essentials from the supermarket, they follow the whales as they swim up and down the Bays. In places the 6 majestic creatures are only 5-10m from shore, even swimming under the wharf at Days Bay. In the way that nature knows, and responds, we know they have come to welcome our baby girl.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Nanas Buns
This was my obsession this morning so the boys and I bashed out a batch before they headed off to Play Centre. 10 mins later, sultana buns all to myself, best eaten hot out of the oven, just like I used to make with Nana Hopkirk on our special mornings together before I started school. I'd catch the bus with the other kids but get dropped off at Nanas a mile down the road. We'd bake, feed the chooks, hang the washing, all the very grown up things. This is one of my earliest memories. I wonder, did it only happen once, or was it a regular occurence?
I wonder what the boys will remember of these days in their life. Big Brother is into role playing, and gets right into character. The last couple of days he has been a dog, and refuses to answer to his name. He has bounded around the house on all fours, barking. He's definitely a more obedient canine than child, much less argumentative. The other morning at the beach he spent some time throwing sticks into the sea then fetching them...in his mouth. He also has been a dragon, an otter, a rhino and his favourite one at Play Centre is a flamingo (he calls them maflingos). Each character is well researched, so I am fielding a stream of questions ...Do dogs chase cats and rabbits? What do otters eat? Would a brachiosaurus eat a crocodile? Do rhinos swim? We had tears the other day when he got into an argument with another 4 yr old over what noise a dragon makes when it breathes fire.
Little Brother is largely a willing sidekick in all these scenarios. He has two main points of conversation - Why? and NO! This morning as he climbed into bed with me he kissed the baby belly then said - Look! The baby's got a nose! I explained that its actually just my belly button/ turkey timer. The turkey should be cooked.
Meanwhile the baby has chosen not to be born today. I'm trying not to focus on it. When it happens it will be a memorable event for us all, I'm sure.
I wonder what the boys will remember of these days in their life. Big Brother is into role playing, and gets right into character. The last couple of days he has been a dog, and refuses to answer to his name. He has bounded around the house on all fours, barking. He's definitely a more obedient canine than child, much less argumentative. The other morning at the beach he spent some time throwing sticks into the sea then fetching them...in his mouth. He also has been a dragon, an otter, a rhino and his favourite one at Play Centre is a flamingo (he calls them maflingos). Each character is well researched, so I am fielding a stream of questions ...Do dogs chase cats and rabbits? What do otters eat? Would a brachiosaurus eat a crocodile? Do rhinos swim? We had tears the other day when he got into an argument with another 4 yr old over what noise a dragon makes when it breathes fire.
Little Brother is largely a willing sidekick in all these scenarios. He has two main points of conversation - Why? and NO! This morning as he climbed into bed with me he kissed the baby belly then said - Look! The baby's got a nose! I explained that its actually just my belly button/ turkey timer. The turkey should be cooked.
Meanwhile the baby has chosen not to be born today. I'm trying not to focus on it. When it happens it will be a memorable event for us all, I'm sure.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Due Date +4
Waiting for Christmas is so much easier than this waiting.
Probably because Christmas day doesnt get to decide when it will come. We dont spend all December wondering if today, when we wake up, Santa will have been round with his bulging sacks, and dispensed his goodies. We know a certain number of days till have to pass until the date specified, and then we will be rewarded.
This baby is my Christmas and its hard to accept that for all my illusory notions of control, he or she has the upper hand. And the upper foot upper under my ribcage. And another foot palpating my diaphragm like a jackhammer on a roadworks site.
I am torn between enjoying what I know from experience will be a relatively calm period before the new born storm, and just wanting to know, just wanting that first cuddle, just wanting (right now) the pain and the euphoria.
Ive been reading some Eckhart Tolle to help me stay 'In the Now'. Ive also decorated the toilets with pretty photos, rearranged the baby room, installed the newly built change table, eaten a fair few hand made chocolates (sorry aunty betty you just dropped off the present list), learned 3 songs on the ukelele, put up a swing in the trees for the boys, started my latest writing project, and cleaned out all the rubbish from that spot under the front car seats where all the discard detritus from the back seats ends up getting squished into.
So if you were waiting sweet baby for any of those things to be completed, then please feel free to use my body as a pre-stretched means of making your grand entrance. Anytime now would suit us...did you have any dates in mind?
Probably because Christmas day doesnt get to decide when it will come. We dont spend all December wondering if today, when we wake up, Santa will have been round with his bulging sacks, and dispensed his goodies. We know a certain number of days till have to pass until the date specified, and then we will be rewarded.
This baby is my Christmas and its hard to accept that for all my illusory notions of control, he or she has the upper hand. And the upper foot upper under my ribcage. And another foot palpating my diaphragm like a jackhammer on a roadworks site.
I am torn between enjoying what I know from experience will be a relatively calm period before the new born storm, and just wanting to know, just wanting that first cuddle, just wanting (right now) the pain and the euphoria.
Ive been reading some Eckhart Tolle to help me stay 'In the Now'. Ive also decorated the toilets with pretty photos, rearranged the baby room, installed the newly built change table, eaten a fair few hand made chocolates (sorry aunty betty you just dropped off the present list), learned 3 songs on the ukelele, put up a swing in the trees for the boys, started my latest writing project, and cleaned out all the rubbish from that spot under the front car seats where all the discard detritus from the back seats ends up getting squished into.
So if you were waiting sweet baby for any of those things to be completed, then please feel free to use my body as a pre-stretched means of making your grand entrance. Anytime now would suit us...did you have any dates in mind?
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
All quiet on the western front
D day arriveth.
Finally that day marked in the diary ALL those months ago, after my 12 week scan. How far away it seemed then! 4th december, baby due exclamation mark exclamation mark!
So Ive done what you do on due days....hovered around home, snacked regularly (very limited and rapidly shrinking window of eating for two at this stage so must take full advantage), cleaned the toilets (just incase the baby wont come until toilets are sparkling), and chocolate coated 150 truffles for xmas presents. Well, Mum did suggest getting on with the jobs that I'm not likely to have time for soon. Feeling rather pleased with myself, in a headily chocolato nauseous way. Chances of them lasting til xmas is probably proportional to the number of days I go overdue divided by the factor mentioned before - shrinking window of open ended eating.
We also got photos of me and the boys in profile, with balloons up their shirts.
So, baby, its your move.
Finally that day marked in the diary ALL those months ago, after my 12 week scan. How far away it seemed then! 4th december, baby due exclamation mark exclamation mark!
So Ive done what you do on due days....hovered around home, snacked regularly (very limited and rapidly shrinking window of eating for two at this stage so must take full advantage), cleaned the toilets (just incase the baby wont come until toilets are sparkling), and chocolate coated 150 truffles for xmas presents. Well, Mum did suggest getting on with the jobs that I'm not likely to have time for soon. Feeling rather pleased with myself, in a headily chocolato nauseous way. Chances of them lasting til xmas is probably proportional to the number of days I go overdue divided by the factor mentioned before - shrinking window of open ended eating.
We also got photos of me and the boys in profile, with balloons up their shirts.
So, baby, its your move.
2 days to baby due list
Reads something like this.
1. Go into labour
2. Have the baby
3. Get sore nipples
4. Enjoy the miracle of life
I have flicked the switch between happier to have the baby inside (less nappies, more sleep) to would rather it just came now, thanks. Its all to do with the sleep - I'm up and pottering around at night now, sore hips from lying in one place and microbladder are driving me out of bed so often I may as well be doing the baby things too. I want to see my knees again. I want my abdominals back, and to be able to stand up and put shoes on. But mostly I just want to tick off my list... go into labour...have baby.....get sore nipples and spend hours looking at the fruits of all my eyebrow production, and cartilage building, and just be in awe of the miracle of new life.
1. Go into labour
2. Have the baby
3. Get sore nipples
4. Enjoy the miracle of life
I have flicked the switch between happier to have the baby inside (less nappies, more sleep) to would rather it just came now, thanks. Its all to do with the sleep - I'm up and pottering around at night now, sore hips from lying in one place and microbladder are driving me out of bed so often I may as well be doing the baby things too. I want to see my knees again. I want my abdominals back, and to be able to stand up and put shoes on. But mostly I just want to tick off my list... go into labour...have baby.....get sore nipples and spend hours looking at the fruits of all my eyebrow production, and cartilage building, and just be in awe of the miracle of new life.
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