Waiting for Christmas is so much easier than this waiting.
Probably because Christmas day doesnt get to decide when it will come. We dont spend all December wondering if today, when we wake up, Santa will have been round with his bulging sacks, and dispensed his goodies. We know a certain number of days till have to pass until the date specified, and then we will be rewarded.
This baby is my Christmas and its hard to accept that for all my illusory notions of control, he or she has the upper hand. And the upper foot upper under my ribcage. And another foot palpating my diaphragm like a jackhammer on a roadworks site.
I am torn between enjoying what I know from experience will be a relatively calm period before the new born storm, and just wanting to know, just wanting that first cuddle, just wanting (right now) the pain and the euphoria.
Ive been reading some Eckhart Tolle to help me stay 'In the Now'. Ive also decorated the toilets with pretty photos, rearranged the baby room, installed the newly built change table, eaten a fair few hand made chocolates (sorry aunty betty you just dropped off the present list), learned 3 songs on the ukelele, put up a swing in the trees for the boys, started my latest writing project, and cleaned out all the rubbish from that spot under the front car seats where all the discard detritus from the back seats ends up getting squished into.
So if you were waiting sweet baby for any of those things to be completed, then please feel free to use my body as a pre-stretched means of making your grand entrance. Anytime now would suit us...did you have any dates in mind?
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