Hi Ho Hi Ho ....

....It's off to work I go, after 8 years of being a stay at home mum.
Yes, for the past 8 (very lovely) years you might even say I've been a kind of sham Snow White (work with me on this analogy) who after sending her worker out into the world, passes her daytime hours sweeping, cleaning, cooking, joyfully carrying, bearing and then tending to the babies, all whilst singing harmoniously with small woodland creatures. Ok, I admit not so much cleaning and sweeping ever went on round here. But, as of the last few weeks, my stay at home time has come to an end. If you were being dramatic, and - I clearly am - you might say the axe has fallen, and cleanly chopped Snow White's head right off.
Poor old Snow White (please read me being facetious here).
Poor old me; it's been rather a shock.
So much of a shock that these days I am less Snow White and more one of the dwarfs.
First I was ACHEY. My body has reacted to the sheer physical shock of being back in a very physical job with no abdominals (missing in action after 3 pregnancies), a suspect pelvic floor (3 births later), and a generalised de-conditioning from possibly too many afternoon naps (no regrets there, though).
Next, I became HUNGRY, as the 8 hour day and increased brain challenge caused my metabolic rate to soar. Once I'd eaten every day I quickly transformed into SLEEPY, clocking up an average of 10 hours a night.
Ok, Ok, I admit it - I've also been HAPPY. It's great to be back doing what I used to love. I am re-discovering that I do have skills, and it's very rewarding work.
But, at times I've said hello to MOPEY, and WEEPY.  These are hard roles to reconcile, as hard as it is to honestly write about them. For these eight years I have loved being a stay at home mum, and I can only now appreciate how this role has formed a large part of my identity, fed my sense of self, and been a source of pride. It was simply who I have always wanted to be. Letting go of that title fills me with a deep sense of loss, an acute awareness of the passing of time, of moving on through the stages of my life. But, if I want to work, and part of me does, I need to face down the inevitability of being JUGGLY, the working mum dwarf (that sounded better in my head).  My plan is to follow the lead of inspiring family and friends who, like the thousands of other amazing juggling mums out there, get on with it. Being JUGGLY comes with her challenges and dealing with these will be my steepest learning curve since my third child was born and I realised I was truly outnumbered. The steep curve has led me to find my inner MANIC-y (that less well known dwarf). She is scary and should not be approached, rather carefully maneuvered into nearest bed, and left for those 10 hours.
My main nemesis, however, the one I fear becoming the most, as well as the hardest to admit to and avoid, is old GRUMPY. While this job lark has so many positives - its part time and will work around school hours once my youngest starts, its my first pay check for years, its resuscitating my hypoxic career - it is still a massive change for us all here on the ranch. I am at risk of the wind changing and being stuck forever with my GRUMPY face on, far too stretched to be nice to my kids (and husband) at the end of the day. I am not for one minute saying that I wasn't grumpy as a stay at home mum, but at least the kids largely copped what they caused. Internalizing GRUMPY will require scraping out a whole new bottom of my boots level of self control, and patience.
The 3 actual munchkins around the place have so far managed the change very well, notwithstanding monumental meltdowns from Big Brother and Little Miss. (So no change there at all).
Little Brother, aka THINKY, quietly asked me after my third day - Mum, did you get fired yet? '
'No! That wouldn't really be a good thing !' I said.
'Well, ' he reasoned, 'if you did get fired, then, you could just hang out with us all the time again!'
Can't argue with that.
Snow White is dead, Long live Snow White. (At least, until she gets fired).