Serene and calm mother to be

Yeah, right, could be a Tui billboard.

I have had visions leading up to this pregnancy of myself as a serene orb floating through the crazy world humming peacefully, glowing with goodwill and loveliness, exuding an aura of 'dont mind me I'm making eyebrows' to random passerbys.

I thought that IF I was so blessed as to have another chance at No.3, that I'd be so constantly grateful that I'd be in one of those near death hovering scenarios, untouched by the woes of the passing world, and just in tune with my miracle of internal person making, subtley influencing the world around me with all my infectious joy.

But, no, sorry, hasn't happened.

I've turned into one of those Mums that (I confess) prior to having my own children, I judged as they dragged screaming brats through the Mall barking orders such as 'if you don't stop, I'll lock you in the car'. I used to think (very ashamed to confess) of such mothers 'if they so obviously don't like their kids, why do they bother having them?'

The harsh truth is that being a mother is such sodding hard work, as wearying as the rock under the constant drip of water. A rock that would freely admit to LOVE water, still gets worn away. And that's how I've felt a lot this pregnancy.

I know that the circumstances of my present position have been dripping on the rock also, and I know that it's my beloved children doing what they do (being kids let loose in a mall) that tends to be the drip that cracks the rock into two splintered shards, the last straw, the final act of a two year old that sends me barking, mad, sad, tearful and ultimately ashamed of myself as a mother.

I am trying to say that we all need to give ourselves, other mothers we see out and about (surviving despite their constant dripping), and our children a break. We are all doing great. We all love our children. We do a million wonderful things a day to show our kids how much we love them.

I am so grateful to have another chance at our cherry on top. Just don't read this rock by its slippery and worn surfaces right now. It winter and its raining alot.