It started with the trickle down effect. Big Brother had a scare when he was little and didn't want to put his head under. He got it within a few lessons. Little Brother watched Big Brother performing and decided that putting his head under was not going to happen. He took half a term for the teacher to crack and now spends more time under the water than above it. Little Miss 4 years old, watched both boys resist, though, and has been following their example for 3 terms now. I cant decide if she's actually worried about water, (hard to believe that when she waves gleefully as soon as she's actually in there) or maybe she's just extremely perverse. I fear it is the latter. There is an innate resistance to being told what to do.
It might be to do with my inconsistent battle plan. At times I have been taking the positive reinforcement tack, 'Well done, darling, you put your little toe in! amazing!'. Other times I've gone hard core 'If you cry I will sit outside'. I've tried explaining the 10, 000 hours to be an expert theory. I've been good cop 'Just do what you can', and I've been bad cop 'If you dont get in that pool I will pick you up and put you in.' ( FYI, bad cop only induces masses of parental guilt, I can't recommend it). I've begged, bribed, removed Peppa Pig privileges, given the boys lashings of chocolates. I've told her she needs to be able to swim if she wants to come with us on our sailing trip around the world. Its put your head under, or boarding school. I'm embarrassed to read back and remember these things, but there it is, proof I'm no expert at parenting.
What's also hard to admit is my motivation for wanting her to bloody-well-get on with it. Is it that I just want her to hurry up and learn so we can move onto clashing about something else equally unimportant in the scheme of things? Is this the blueprint for our relationship - driving lessons, me giving gruff advice on her future partner and parenting choices? I certainly don't want our relationship to develop into the epic recurring world championships of me vs. her.
Perhaps it is that I am tired of coaxing children into the swimming pool, considering I've been doing it 1,2, sometimes 3 times a week for 5 years. Spending two hours a week beside a pool is not what you dream of when planning the nursery.
Perhaps it is because I absolutely love swimming, and want her to share the joy/pursue the Olympic career of my dreams (Tiger Mum alert!) There's not many Gold Medals given out for doggy paddle.
Back to Parenting 101, though, my analysis and conclusion is this - I really need to chill out. It is not my responsibility to push, cajole and harange her, encourage or persuade, inspire and teach her - not while she is in the pool, anyway. Thats what I pay the teacher for. He will get her there, I have full faith. I need to choose my battles more carefully. Next week I'm taking my reading book and letting her get on with it. Even at 4, she needs her autonomy and space to make her own decisions, and pushing her will only result in her pushing back. Better save my energy for bigger battles.
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